* I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in,
she said: Cheque books.
* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
* What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
* What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
* Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
* Q: What’s the difference between mother & wife?
One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
* Banta enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why? Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly
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